Revenge of the Lobster Turtles

All right, fine.
It’s time I admitted it.
The Ice Warriors are not turtles.
I can admit when I’m wrong… not very graciously, perhaps, but you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip (squeezing a raw turnip is notoriously difficult in any case, filled with blood or not).

This little fella is an Ice Warrior:
Ice Turtle Warrior

He’s clearly not a furry turtle with lobster claws, as I’m sure you may have thought.

Look, in my defense, I would have sworn that, in the Big Finish audio episode, “Deimos“, someone described this critter as being like unto a turtle… but then Paul McGann was operating in full sass-back mode, and there’s nothing more wonderfully distracting than Paul McGann at full sass. It’s like staring into the sun. To be quite frank, I was blistered and blinded and don’t remember who or what gave me the turtle visual, but to all Ice Warriors who have been offended, I’m sorry.

You all would have been cuter as wee angry turtles on a rampage, but I apologize, nevertheless.

Why do I bring all of this up, you ask?

Well, I’ve heard all of the buzz about the Cybermen coming back, and yes, the Cybermen are a treat, but the Space Turtles… dang… there I go again… Ice Warriors (sorry, boys) are characters that we haven’t seen since the classics… until Season 7 resumes, of course.
Apparently, there will be turtles blood Ice Warriors, and given Moffat’s ability to turn the most innocuous of items into pure and uncut nightmare fuel, I’m ridiculously excited!

The clip below is from reign of the Second Doctor, with whom I’m generally unfamiliar. Despite his most excellent decision to travel with a Scotsman in a kilt, I can’t quite get behind his tendency to shed vital shreds of dignity and start panicking (if you’re a die hard, don’t hit or yell… I know he’s Matt Smith’s favorite, but he’ll either grow on me or he won’t).


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