Rabbits: We Do Well To Fear Them

I do not particularly like rabbits.
I don’t necessarily have a rabbit phobia… I don’t scream when I see them or curl up in the fetal position but I, in general, find those rodents to be somewhat sinister.

I suppose my issues with rabbits started with “Night of the Lepus“, in which a number of classic A (well… A-ish…) listers take on a massive community of mutated, bloodthirsty leoporids.

Killer Rabbits, People!

Big ones.
I always assumed that if one was going to be killed by a rabbit, it would use it’s teeth.
Sidebar: Actually, to be honest, before this movie, it never occurred to me that I should add “rabbits” to my ever-lengthening list of “HORRIBLE WAYS TO DIE.”
I mean, who would think, “lava… aliens… soldier ants (thanks a LOT, Charlton Heston)… bunnies…”?
Who, in their right mind?!There’s just no cause!
It turns out, though, that when a rabbit decides that it’s your time to die, the dear sweet thing just bats you about the face and neck, pummeling you with vicious bunny fists, until the sticky end.

How does that make you feel, hmm?
Confused?
A trifle grossed out?
Perhaps uncomfortable, as you imagine a soft, downy bunny suddenly growing to 500 times normal size and playing whack-a-mole with your face?
I KNOW.
THAT’S HOW I FELT, AND I WAS A CHILD.
*whimper*

To make matters worse, a few years later, we checked out “Watership Down” from the library.
Somebody should have warned me.

Nightmare Fuel (bunny style)
Nightmare Fuel (bunny style)

Is it me, or were the 70′ s rough time to watch television as a kid?
I mean, what’s your justification for this, world?!
I understand that the book (and the subsequent horrible film) was meant to be a take on fascism, and who doesn’t want to take on fascism, but… no.
NO, movie.
THIS IS WRONG.
Now, when I see rabbits, all I can think is, “That cute little fluffy one probably enjoys the taste of blood.”

Geoffrey didn’t give in because they were singing… he gave in so that they wouldn’t eat him alive.

The best part of “The Monster That Challenged the World“?
The giant mollusk ate all of the rabbits.
ALL. OF. THEM.

The Monster that Challenged the World (1957)
Don’t let the rabbits live!

I’ll be leaving on a jet plane at 7am tomorrow morning, so anything you get from me this week will most likely be unintelligible.

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3 thoughts on “Rabbits: We Do Well To Fear Them

  1. Did you ever read “The Celery Stalks At Midnight”? Vampire bunny… Heroic cat tries to drive a steak through its heart. Literally a steak. Not a stake. Cat fails.

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    1. Yes!! Bunnicula! We had the entire series (which may have contributed negatively to my overall impression of rabbits).

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      1. Waahaaa.
        When I was in college, a friend observed a convocation of rabbits in his driveway and realized they were plotting to take over the world. Since then, bunnies have been evil in my mind. I made duct tape handcuffs for a stuffed bunny once. Also, have you ever watched “Lost?” There’s a reason Ben Linus has an affinity for bunnies.

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