“Pretend This is Yelp” Friday

It is Friday, isn’t it?
I’m afraid my internal calendar has gone all wonky.
Yesterday was one of those days that felt three weeks long… not because good things didn’t happen, but because they happened all at once, intermixed with a rather sudden family crisis, with a sprinkling of exhaustion (both mental and muscle) and with a little sheep’s blood thrown in for seasoning.

The only thing I’ve been able to focus on this week that was not work or Bible related was the hotel that I’m staying in, and “The Return of Sherlock Holmes”… I could, of course, talk about Sherlock Holmes ALL DAY LONG, but endless gushing is rather grating on the ear.
I had the thought yesterday that the only thing that I wanted to do was talk to Sherlock Holmes… but he’s dead.
Technically, he’s a fictional character, but being not real is rather similar to being dead, no?
Has anyone written a pastiche around the Netherland-Sumatra Company case?
Could someone get on that?
Please and thank you.

I am going to give the tiniest stamp of approval for The Rosen Centre Hotel in Orlando. Let me just say… this place is lovely.
Why, you ask?
I shall tell you (if you would calm down and stop interrupting me… you just can’t let me talk, can you?!).
A: It’s clean!
You don’t know how many supposedly high-end hotels I’ve been in (for business purposes… I am NOT made of money) and I’ve found grime and blood stains… yes, BLOOD STAINS.
Twice, I have found BLOOD STAINS in my hotel room.
I felt like I was in a CSI episode.
CSI: Miami, unfortunately, not New York.
I would have committed the murder myself to be on CSI: New York.
But this place looks like it’s properly scrubbed on the regular and, considering that you never knew who came before you and licked all the surfaces, I do appreciate a proper scrubbing.

B: The Rosen has free WiFi, and not the dinky “I can’t even send a text message” wifi… it’s better than the Wifi I have at home (which, admittedly, is questionable).

C: The staff is very nice. Not Bates Motel “Can-I-help-you-unpack-I-have-cameras-behind-the-mirror-in-the-bathroom-we-only-have-six-disappearances-every-year-it’-s-not-that-bad” nice… they’re very polite and non-creepy and helpful.
Well, we did have that one waiter who started to get annoyed when my dinner companion kept asking questions, but they WERE questions about the food.It’s not like she was asking about the tomb of the unknown solider, or how many miles to Bethlehem. At one point, he said, “Just order. If you don’t like it, I’ll bring your something else.” which felt a little snarky to me.
I guess he didn’t really have to be nice… they added an 18% gratuity on the check.

D: The decor is nice… all granite and some sort-of wood that might be cherry, but I’m not really up on my trees, so don’t quote me.

All in all, I quite prefer this place to any other hotel I’ve stayed in.
It beats that one hotel in NYC with a stick.


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