Loose Enough

There is no universally accepted list of activities that are “fun.”
Have you noticed that?
Fun is amorphous.
Fun is entirely subjective.
Some people might find… oh… say… sliding down a mountain with flimsy sticks attached to their feet fun. I’ve always fancied a jaunt through the Bermuda Triangle. Some people have a great time picking fights and complaining. There are even some people who greatly enjoy killing other people (sure, we worry about them, but you can’t deny that they are, in fact, having oodles and oodles of fun noodles).
Fun is not something that we all can agree on.

My goodness, humanity can’t even all agree on serving Nutella at all posh events, and that’s OBVIOUS.

Now, since we’ve established (to my satisfaction, anyway) that fun is not an absolute concept, perhaps we can move on to another concept: the concept of loosening up.
In the vernacular, “loosen up” means “release your inner wild thing and submit to riotous fun-having.”
I take issue with this rather perjorative phrase for the simple reason that “fun” means different things to different people.
Therefore, when you tell me to loosen up, down six shots of some suspicious looking, foamy, rainbow colored liquor of some sort I know not what, and commence doing the neurological disorder dance (because such things are “fun”), I begin to question your ability to determine what “fun” is for me, and I am bothered by your assumption that your suggestion is objectively the best way to have the funnest fun possible at the moment (and I’ll probably slip out of the room, run to the nearest safe place and have a sudden stormy cry because this whole scenario is so very wrong for one such as I).
My idea of loosening up means taking out my six hundred hairpins, removing my shoes (which I only wear approximately 15% of the time anyway… ask my coworkers) wrapping myself in a blanket, and reading or watching TV.
Sound boring to you?
I don’t care.
We’re talking about MY idea of fun, which I am not attempting to foist on you.

If I were to walk up to you and say, “You’re such a drag! Loosen up, grab a cup of tea, and let’s talk about “The Maze Runner”, my use of such a phrase wouldn’t make any sense to you, unless you were of a like mind in matters of enjoyment…and even then, it’s insulting and patronizing (as if I am better qualified than you to know what you find fun, and it is my responsibility to make sure that you have ALL THE FUN and RIGHT NOW).
I have to say that I have never told anyone to “loosen up and be quiet”. If I tell someone to be quiet, it’s because their current noise level is disturbing me… not because I believe that they will enjoy themselves 100% more when they cease behaving like themselves and start behaving like me.
It’s not my job (or anyone else’s) to be the fun-distributor, and if you’ve decided to follow your bliss and adopt such a job for yourself, please be sure to tailor your “fun” suggestions to the personality and preferences of the person you’re talking to.

Bottom line: I am precisely as loose (or as tight) as I need to be (and that could perhaps be said of all of us, if that’s not too arrogant of an assumption).
Being commanded to loosen will automatically produce the opposite effect.
You are not responsible for me, or for filling my fun meter.


3 thoughts on “Loose Enough

  1. I really liked this post.
    Do you find that it depends what mood your in as well? Because I can find shots of the rainbow variety fun ;), but I do find myself quite happy enjoying a film (or a book – the maze runner messed with my head a little by the time I got to the death cure) depending on what I fancy.

    I have a friend who is the official ‘fun co-ordinator’ or she takes it upon herself to be, and half the time it’s like ‘I’m going to go and try to enjoy it because she doesn’t know any better’ haha.


    1. I’ve found that it depends on who I’m with more than my actual mood… but then, on the other hand, there are just some things that, regardless who asks me, I’m just not wired for.
      For example, my best friend loves going to the beach, but I’m just not a beach person, so even if I went just to please her, I wouldn’t actually have fun, not because I’m not trying, but because beaches and I do not mix (it’s the whole water-sand-sunlight thing).


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