I’m thinking about going back to school.
This isn’t usual… I toy with the idea at least once every week.
Last year, I very seriously considered it, and then laid it aside again.
This year… I’m 75% sold on the idea. I’ve found a lovely program, calculated the finances (I’m really quite fond of Ramen, so that’s not a problem), and have very nearly scheduled a GRE exam.
The only hitch is that one voice, currently only in my mind, that says,
“Are you really going to work full-time and study for a Master’s degree? What if you can’t handle it? What if you burn out? What if you’re secretly dumb? When, oh, when will you watch TV?”
I really don’t have to prove anything, even to myself, at this point. I haven’t failed at everything I’ve tried (and, actually, I could say that I’ve only truly flat-out failed at one thing… just eight times… in nine years… but nobody’s perfect). I am not dumb, on paper or in actual practice, and I watched oodles of TV all throughout my undergraduate.
TV and I are bosom companions.
I’m just as capable of burning the candle at both ends as anyone else. Just because I get sleepy at two o’clock in the afternoon, that does not mean that I’m incapable of cranking out a thesis.
If I decide to go through with this, it will be because I’ve logically determined that it’s a reasonable course of action, not because my head voice won’t stop yapping.
I mean, what does this voice know, anyway?
This voice doesn’t even have legs or hands or thick hair.
This is the same voice who said that I would never be able to make delicious cupcakes, and SOMEONE made delicious cupcakes over the weekend, so clearly, this voice exists in the realm of opposite day.
This voice doesn’t know me.
This voice should step off, because I am insane (in a variety of permutations of that term).
Step off and stop talking to me.