This is, after my fashion, an olive branch… an explanation of my motives and feelings on this matter.
I respect you.
Most of the time, I even like you.
I want to like you.
You’re not an unlikeable person.
Everyone else likes you.
I do, in fact, have moments in which I like you very much.
Outside of those moments, I suspect that you’re not overly fond of me, which triggers my withdrawal.
You do occasionally rub me the wrong way (horrible phrase… why do we use it?), but that’s hardly a capital offense. My general sense is that you “don’t care” about certain issues, which is your prerogative.
I don’t care about everything, myself… being phlegmatic, I’m hardly in a position to preach boundless enthusiasm… but even in my “not caring”, I try not to express that verbally or behaviorally.
There are moments in which our personal level of caring is irrelevant to the task at hand… and being dismissive in those moments can be somewhat hurtful.
If you’re being dismissive toward a phlegmatic, it’s just irritating.
I like you… but I’m a bit bothered.
I am beginning suspect that you view me as an interloper, marching into your space, making changes and demands.
I can understand why you feel that way… however, you’re incorrect.
Please understand that I have no designs upon your territory, and I do have respect for your experience and expertise.
To a point.
When our paths converge, and I believe that there’s a gap to be filled, room for new ideas or the need a different plan, I will most likely say so in my fashion (i.e. quietly, after having spent several days charting a course).
This is not an editorial comment on your skills.
In fact, nothing that I say or do is actually about you (save this particular blog post… obviously).
There are no comments aimed toward exposing a perceived deficiency.
I don’t believe in personal attacks, as they’re messy and inefficient.
Besides, I like you… I just don’t think you’re always right about everything (neither am I… you don’t mince words about it, either).
We are supposed to be a team.
Despite my solitary nature, I believe in the concept of a strong team, which requires input from all sectors.
Including mine… despite my lack of whatever I would need for my ideas to be welcomed.
I don’t want what you have, and I’m not in any way interested in replacing you, nor am I interested in butting heads with you.
In fact, not only am I not interested in it, I simply won’t do it.
I will back so far and so fast away that all you will see is a teeny dust trail in the distance.
I lived with the Master and Commander of Tension for an entire childhood, and I’ve had my fill of battle.
Some may find my retreat into silence detrimental to the team… but I will not fight you.
I would rather that we pool our not-unconsiderable resources, but if the only way to do that is by shredding your skin with my claws, then I respectfully decline, and the team will suffer.
Seriously, I like and respect you.
I am respectfully requesting that you like and respect me as well.
I know it’s difficult.