The Fire That Wasn’t (but COULD have been, and you weren’t ready)

As I write this, it is 2:19am, CST.
We’re all okay, I guess… the fire alarms have finally stopped bleating, and the source of all the commotions was apparently a broken pipe.
The smoke I was smelling was the residue of my mother’s neighbors across the hall, who enjoy frequent trips to flavor country… in a non-smoking building.
I’m safely ensconced in my own apartment, which smells of lentil soup instead of smoke, and I’m drinking a 7-UP to keep from vomiting.
I don’t like fire, you see.
Candles and fireplaces are beautiful things, but I have rather a thing about burning to death.
It doesn’t matter that one would most likely be unconscious due to smoke inhalation… I would really rather not burn to death, if it’s all the same.

I’m noticing that I’m quite on edge about the whole business… in the evacuation, my mother and I were the only ones I saw wearing real pants. We both had our purses, with any necessary medications, money (real or plastic). I had my car keys and, with a full tank of gas, was quite prepared to spend the next few hours in a heated car while the fire personnel did their work. This all took less than five minutes to gather… but all of my neighbors simply wandered out, rubbing sweet sleep from their eyes, completely unprepared. In the midst of the coldest weather system this town has seen in years, fully grown adult humans were planning to, if needs must, go tromping through the wind and snow in the out of doors wearing Snoopy pajamas and over-sized hoodies and fuzzy slippers.

Those were the ones who bothered to come out at all. Some people slept straight through the whole business, a feat made uncomfortably possible by the fact that the alarm was alarmingly faint in one doesn’t live directly across from it, as I do. That is an issue that I hope someone raises with the management…
Some people simply didn’t chose to come out until it was made plain that the alarm wasn’t just going to stop interrupting one’s sleep. Some came down alone, leaving their families still snuggled in their beds… because if there was actually a fire, we all know how quickly and easily we could run back to our sleeping loved ones and rouse them.
You know, unless there’s acrid smoke hanging heavily in the air and flames nipping at our heels, and firefighters refusing to allow access to the stairwells.

I’m… annoyed.
It’s easier for me to feel annoyance than any stronger emotions, but the annoyance will soon give way to whatever is underneath… and it will probably happen just as soon as I walk into my office.
I am immensely bothered by the fact that people were so blase about this whole thing, acting as if there couldn’t possibly be any real danger or cause for concern before they rationally knew that there was no danger or cause for concern…
Your apartment building couldn’t possibly be on fire, because you’re in it, and nothing like that would ever happen to you. You don’t need to GET DRESSED when it’s -5 outside and feels like -17, because it’s really no big deal, people like you would never have to stand outside until the tips of your ears go painfully numb and your naked fingers lose all sensation and mobility. For goodness sake, don’t wake up your family and bring them out with you… there’s probably nothing really happening anyway, and we all know that little kids are indestructible little demigods who could never die… at least your indestructible little demigods couldn’t, because they belong to you, right?

Really, people?
When did we develop this philosophy that things like preparation and precaution were for the fearful and weak? The five minutes that it takes for you to pack a bag (or ladies, just grab your purse… 90% of what you might need in an emergency is probably already in there) can save you from having to leave a place of safety to go rummaging about in a smoke-filled tender box. The five minutes that it takes for you to get dressed… in the middle of winter… in the middle of Missouri… in the middle of a WINTER STORM… can save you from standing for an hour in the snow clad in nothing but light flannel, unless losing your feet to frostbite is really no nevermind to you.
Now, if there’s an alarm in the summer and you want to stand around outside in a lacy peignoir, that’s your business (Personally, I’ve always believed that the mark of the truly well-dressed is always being appropriately dressed for every occasion… but you just do you), but to face the possibility of being forced to exit your building in frigid temps in something that wouldn’t even keep your warm if your thermostat was broken… seriously, look at your choices.
The five minutes that it takes for you to wake up your family… I can’t even begin to wrap my mind about this. I know that children can be a bear to get to sleep and a bear to wake up… and if I had children, I imagine that I would gladly wake them up and perhaps never get them to sleep again, as opposed to losing them in a fire.

I’m being pointed and judgey because I care about staying alive in as healthy a state as possible. People without death wishes should care, and so they should have the presence of mind to ACT LIKE THEY CARE. You don’t wait until you see smoke and fire to care! You don’t wait until the tornado hits your house to care! You don’t wait until the burglar is standing in your kitchen to care! We’re not talking a theoretical zombie apocalypse! This stuff HAPPENS! Act like you’ve got the sense that God gave an onion and prepare for things, you idiot humans!

It only takes a few minutes… if nothing happens, you’ll be sitting up, nauseous, blogging and ranting like a fool. If something does happen, those minutes will have made all the difference.

Ugh. I’ve had it up to here with sparkly special snowflake humans and their ridiculous inability to take anything seriously, even that which might kill them… and since there’s little possibility of my going back to sleep at 3:15 in the morning, I’m going to watch a movie.

I will NOT be watching “The Towering Inferno.”